Yellow

A single carnation placed on my desk
Yellow. I feel so special.
For a moment I felt surprise
And perhaps a bit of pride
Then I read the yellow slip of paper
TO: my name
FROM: my friend
Brief smile on my face
It always seems to fade
Pretty quickly
I look around without turning my head too obviously
I see boys and girls receiving pink, white, and red carnations
No secret admirer
How could I even begin
To think I had a chance?
No lover for no doubt no boy has ever loved me
No boyfriend
No guy friend even
I shouldn’t feel this way
I’m lucky to have friends
I have a friend
I have friends
Why isn’t that enough?
Why do I feel I have to find “the one?”
Or any one for that matter
I feel as if I’ll settle
Because I don’t know any better
I don’t know any at all
I’m only 15 you say
What if I’m ready?
True love knows no age
I hold yellow this day
Who knows if this will ever change…