Numb

Felt so restricted,
Scarred that if i stayed restricted for too long it would hurt me so much,
But one night,
One faithful night i found a knife,
Was so broken so i raised the knife to my wrist,
I placed pressure to my desired angle and dragged it across my skin,
But no,
The blade was blunt,
I barely broke the skin,
Had already discovered my stomach that night,
So my desire was not as great as before,
But now,
I am so scarred that because i leaped from my leg to my stomach and wrist in one night,
That my restriction isn't that great,
That every time i go to cut,
The levels grow,
And now,
I'm so scarred that the next time it happens,
The next time i go to cut,
Ill do more damage then before,
Ive started again,
My other Saviour,
My first Saviour,
My painful Saviour,
Makes my heart beat so fast,
The blood flows so fast around my body,
SO loud,
So silent,
My heart so fiercely beats and every feeling that i get,
Every time i place my blade to my skin,
Every time i slip my fingers down my throat,
Every time i refuse to eat,
I do it all to feel,
But Ive grown so numb,
I don't feel the blood flow through my veins,
I don't feel the poison climb up my throat,
I cant feel the hunger inside me,
I feel nothing,
So numb,
I cry...