U pushed me away

So it begins

as i sit here crying, I laughed
not because I think your pathetic
but because I'M the idiot
but because you meant everything to me
but because i thought i almost loved you
because i thought you felt the same

Your like the cigarette i just smoked
something i feel Dependant on
something i fear i not only want, but need
but in the long run, pointless, killing me, hurting me
and i just want to breathe... with u though...

You said I still can...
But How? EVERYTHING, everything reminds me of you...
how i felt in your arms, how happy i was
how i smiled just thinking about you.
and now, that damn smile is replaced with thousands of meaningless tears.
I never asked anything of you, never demanded something you didn't want...
but maybe it was me all along that u didn't want...

But everyone wakes up from dreaming sometime right?
I just wish it wasn't today, not this way.
I just wanted to sleep a little longer.
With you, everything wrong in my life was non-existent
and now not only are they all accounted for again,
but its all that, plus one.. plus you...

I'll never understand, never realize
it was ur turn to hurt me..
I'll never get over you.. but i can pretend...
and u wont even know it

sorry it meant nothing to you..

sorry it meant everything to me..

and most sorry u'll never find anyone who loved u as much as i did...
and u pushed me away...

Bye - Nikki

and one day u'll look back and say
"Damn that girl really loved me."

To the guy who broke my heart, screwed me over, made me cry and didn't care.