Sweet suicide

Thought by now my world would be filled with smiles
Yet I sit every night with my tears slipping down my face
So tired in my mind but the sleep it never comes
When I do I wake up the same, this living disgrace

All the fake smiles all the hollow lies and laughs
As I sit shaking with the knife close to my skin
Only way I show you how I really feel
Is this what I have become, cutting my way to let you in

Noose sways in the midnight breeze silently
Walk toward it possessed by jealousy and madness
Empty words fill my mind during my living hours
Lost all reasons to live as I engulf myself in sadness

I'm weary of the looks of scorn, the words behind my back
I know what you think of me, I don't want your attention
I will not be ashamed of my scars of my attempted suicides
I'm an empty shell, less alive than my reflection

Another day filled with nothing but hatred
No longer have you to turn to, so I begin to fly
Walking along the alleys of self harm and dark deaths
Wishing for a small glimmer of hope as I continue to cry

The end will come, but how soon will it be
I don't want feel numb and despondent inside
I wont leave you, but I'm not real without you
Tempted to follow in the footsteps of sweet suicide