I'm proud

Stand up in the glorified pain I am stuck in
Revelling in shadows and wonderful sin
I'm proud of the darkness I've come to possess
I'm glad of my failures, my life is a mess

Burning shadows, twisting writhing underneath my mind
Scripted suicides, pathological horrors strung along behind
Working failing, breathing hatred stuck in a different place
Mutilations, scarring cutting, Wonderstruck my disgrace

I'm proud of being lost in a place I cannot find myself
Shooting down my dreams placing feelings on the shelf
I'm dancing in the fire, stripped of dignity and smiles
Spitting on the happiness and striking all my trials

Wrought destruction, anger shame I am a twisted being
Inferno dreaming, hopeless killing, stuck in a place not seeing
Sweet elation, dead percussion, drowned in all my doubt
Shadowed anger, unrelenting pain, cutting feelings out

I'm proud of losing everything, but this pride is fading fast
So sorry for the hurt that I began deep in my past
Falling, flailing again I'm failing, working with my head
Screaming, shouting, clawing out, alive but yet so dead