One by one

One by one
the cuts add up,
I've faced the fact
that I'm screwed up.
I can't blame parents,
in some ways they help,
nobody is left,
so I'll just blame myself.
In some ways I'm better,
In most ways I'm worse,
I see this as a blessing,
how come?
it's just a curse.
Sometimes i open up,
sometimes i keep it in,
don't need to fight this anymore,
so i let the cutting begin.
Most nights i sit and cry,
then cry myself to sleep,
But usually i sit on my bed,
and keep staring at my feet.
I look at the letter,
and clench it in my hand,
i want my parents to see it,
and make them understand.
That their happy daughter,
is really torn apart,
and she can't fight this anger,
that's bruising in her heart.
Mum and dad,
why can't you see,
I'm messing up,
just please help me.