Better Off?

The doctors say I'm all better,
that's what I want them to believe.
I won't fall into the trap again,
in my heart I still want to leave.

The trap is them knowing,
and thinking they can assist.
Really all they can do is watch,
eventually fading into the mist.

The meds are doing wonders,
my brain will actually function.
I feel it when I miss a dose,
left at a broken junction.

Now I know how it feels,
like you said to me one day.
They all think I'm better,
when really I don't want to stay.

I thought this was what I wanted,
but it hurts to keep it inside.
I did it so easily for so long,
now there is no one to confide.

I want to be better but not like this.
this isn't better at all.
I know I am so truely weak,
they will only see me fall.