Doesn't rhyme in a few places, but tells the story flawlessly for the same reason, I love it...truly.

really nice job! the rhyming was just a little jumpy in a couple places, but otherwise very good!

The flow and rhythm is kind of off in a few places, otherwise good effort there. I like the little story behind it. Cute and sweet. Oh and fix some typo error, like 'For I am to shy' --> 'too shy' and it will be great. =)

That relates alot to me, hoping one day to speak to this boy who looks at me. Keep it up, one thing though, change "to" into "too"