Addiction

I know I've left scars so deep
But my promises I'm trying to keep
When i think about what I've done to you
It makes me want to breakdown and drop to my knees

It's been so long since I've shook hands with sobriety
Too many months Ive been out of touch with reality
But your still my most vivid fantasy

I was swimming in my own intoxication
Ecstasy, crack, cocaine...anything to fill my inebriation
But your still my strongest addiction

I lost control and slipped over to the dark side
And i couldn't stand to drag you through that crash course ride
Everyday i would try to find the words to say
But my mind was too damaged by self-inflicted decay
I can see now the reason
for my abuse
I wasn't addicted to the drugs
I'm still addicted to you
Every second your still in the back of my mind
Like a piece of my soul that i can't find
I tried to fill that void with chemicals you wouldn't believe
But that missing piece they couldn't retrieve
The emptiness was too much to bear
So shame and guilt are the badges i now wear

That last kiss you gave to me still lingers on my lips
Untainted by any others
Without you i lose my grips

I went crazy one night
And as the car rolled and my end was in sight
I should have seen my life flash before my eyes
But all i could see is your beautiful face surrounded by the warmest light

I'd give my life for your forgiveness
I realize now Ecstasy isn't a pill
It's the feeling you give me when we kiss

And now my days of drug abuse are done
That course has made it's ragged run
As i look up to see a brighter part of the sun

I've two-faced down my demons
Now my life starts a new season
Your my one and only baby-doll
With you i know I'd have it all