Muddy Water

Slip outside
No where to hide
I plop myself down
On the swinging red chair
Hooked to the porch
Twist around
Twirl back down
Making a creaky sound
Stare at nothing
In particular
Search for a sign in the sky
Grey clouds up high
Waiting for the first drop
Falls down
Slips down a rock
The next one I feel
But I’m afraid it cannot
Heal…

So many thoughts
Constant, controlling
Consuming me wholly
Wet eye lashes
Blurred vision
Stained face
Life’s all one big race
Wiped out
Drained of emotion
One minute flowing
Next corner turned
Blocked by an obstacle
Am I lost or just trapped?
Pushed through to continue
Follow the others
Until faced with another
Torn between intersecting waters
Must choose one way or the other
Skipped ahead
Passed puddles
Went too fast
Splattered, splashed
Muddy water
Farther, farther
Will I finish this race?
Or be filled with regret?
Open the black gate
Slow down
Sit back down
Pick a petal off the pink tiger rose
Sweater caught on its thorns
Inhale sweetness
Felt my weakness
Cleansed of those thoughts
Maybe just for now
But I’ll live for the moment.