Just cant anymore p-2 (verses 22-45

I'll watch as it slices through my skin
it will give me the adrenaline rush
that i need to continue with my plan
without rethinking my plan

it will be as easy as 1 2 3,
i will first slice my right wrist
straight down the vein
to ensure maximum blood loss

it will be as easy as 1 2 3,
i will then take the knife
and slit my left wrist
my strength already draining

as my eyesight darkens
i will utter my last words
as i raise the knife to my throat
i will say I'm sorry and goodbye

then i will use both hands to drag the knife down my throat
not side to side but up and down
i will smile as i lay back

it will be as easy as 1 2 3,
but i could never pull through with it
i would hurt you too much
although you won't admit it

i know you love me
deep down inside
but then again
it might get you to think

what if you had stayed with me
where would we be?
would i still be gone
and yous till be here

would we be happier now
if you just gave me a second chance
I'm sure we would be
but you may never know

i just cant do it anymore
I'm sick of your games
I'm sick of the ups and downs
I'm sick of hiding the real me

i don't want to remember
that one day in 7th grade
when the horrible thing happened
and i looked into his icy cold eyes

i don't want to feel the guilt
and think well maybe if i did this...
maybe he wouldn't have done that
and think that it was my fault

i don't want to remember
laying on the couch
when i was 4 years old
hearing my parents fight

they were screaming so loud
he was packing his suitcase
and she was crying
it was all my fault

if only i was a better person
then maybe my life would be better
all this is my fault
i somehow made it all happen

i try to change
i try everyday of my life
but i cant seem to do it
i cant be perfect

there are so many things
that go wrong in my life
there just isn't enough room
to type them all up

all i want is to be happy
to be loved by another
but i guess it is my fate
to be abused by others

i am not meant to be happy
and i never was
i did this to myself
and now i cant undo it

i want to say I'm sorry
for all of you that tryed
but you have wasted your time
on something like me

please give up now
it will make it less painful for me
too give up on life
if there is nothing left to see

i know a few of you still care
but i wish you weren't there
cause it will hurt me to hurt you
but its the only way

i must take myself
out of this world
to be happy
it just has to be done

well I'm going now
i may never return
let this be my last plea for help
if it doesn't arrive soon

I'm afraid i just cant do it anymore

please comment and vote it would mean a lot to me
lol i hope you read p-1