I Will Not Win.

Do you see through my eyes?
Do you feel what’s in my heart?
Do you wish you knew why?
Why all this had to start?

I don’t know why you say
You understand and you see
The truth is that you don’t
The only person who does; is me.

I’ve been lost for so, so long
It’s too late to find me now
I’ve been pretending for so long
I just would not know how.

How to be myself
The real Emily
You have not met her yet
And, I don’t think she’ll ever be.

Drowning in myself
My anguish and my pain
Searching deep in my soul
For ways to keep me sane.

In some ways I wish you knew
What’s hidden beneath my skin
Maybe then you’d really see
Why I say I will not win.