My Angst

Did you ever care?
Are you reading this now?
Hear my screams of angst,
Wondering how?

A decent fake smile,
The combing of my hair,
Looking in the mirror,
I realize no one really cares…

I look at the knife,
And fall to the floor,
Sobbing, shaking,
I can’t take it anymore…

All I wanted
Was for you to ask,
Just once,
If I was okay?

I’d shake my head,
‘No’
And I would tell you
‘I want to stay.’

But you don’t care,
So why should I?
But the images still
Won’t go away…

Your smile,
Your laugh,
That’s why I’m
Where I am today,

“God I loved you!”
and still…
I know your feelings
You have shown…

That’s why I’m covered in blood.
Suffering alone…