Ugh.. memories...

"Sami smile! Please, smile for the camera!" You all disgust me. Three people so close to me are dead and you expect me to smile?!Well, guess again. A frown is all you'll ever see on my face until I can actually find some reason to actually be happy. I'm suffocating, and drowning. I'm dying in my own hands because of all this pain. 1000 needles in the chest, 1 broken arrow through the heart. I once felt like butterflies could lift me into the air, now not even I can life myself up. I lay on the ground, crying softly to myself, praying that it all will just end. I want nothing more than to sell my life for those 3 people to come back. I've tried to be perfect once before, but no one would give me a chance. My mind is now elsewhere. I only wanted to see if I could once again smile, but I never can. Not without My one true love, not without my best friend, not without my sibling and my opposite, my mirror sibling. Maybe I'd be better off being invisible. I know suicide is never the answer, but when you think so months in your room, it starts to sound as if it's the only choice you have to recover to. Maybe harm would bring them back... .... .... No, it wouldn't. Mama, keep me away from mirrors, I look at it, I'll scream for my mirror twin, keep me away from fire places and my cat, keep me away from loving another boy. Mama, keep me from staring death in th eyes again. Keep me in the shadows where I can be lost in my own kind. Keep me from screaming out those 3 little words. Keep me away from them, I never want to hear them again. Never again. Ugh, how I long to hear them from him, or from my mirror, but from no one else. I want mine and my mirror's song, I want His song being played off of His guitar. I don't ask for much, so why can't I just have 1 Big wish? Let them 3 people I once knew, live once more.
"Smile Sami. Say cheese!"
No, never. Keep the camera away from me, the picture will only remind me of a mirror, and the background will only remind me of Him Don't take my picture, for if you do, I'll never forgive you, for not letting me forget, for making me remember.
Ugh...