Without Muse

Don't look down on me
I already look down on myself
Don't look up to me either
I know I'm not worthy
Of such admiration
I hardly consider myself
A source of inspiration
Much less a muse to you or anyone else

I have not found a muse of my own
Should I even be looking?
I sit here muse-less
Could it possibly find me?
I guess I have no choice but
To wait and see

How long will I sit here
Twiddling my thumbs
Wasting time, yet again
Waiting for something. Someone?
Killing what could possibly be
Precious memories
Wisdom gained
Knowledge gathered
Experience in life. love. and death.

Idle your hours away
Go ahead
You have nothing ahead of you
Nothing to lose
No one’s waiting

But what do you know?

Practically nothing compared to you.
Sure I’ve learned, I’ve memorized, and I’ve subdued
But life experience
There I have no clue

Smart dumb one
Most can’t see your degree of ignorance

Me?
What can I do?
What have I to offer?
What of importance could I possibly produce?
How will I survive?
How will I serve?
What have I to share with the world
That’ll make a difference
Change lives?
Could I?