aww that was so sad and very well written. I enjoyed it. xxx

omg, this is one of THE best ive ever read!!!! great job!!! outstanding!

This is one of my favorites, thanks for commenting and if possible check out my other poems:)

that is SO good! so so so so so good! wow i cant believe you call me talented when youve got stuff like that coming from your own mind!!! that was fantastic! tears!!!

oh and please add my msn addy angelmouse789@hotmail.com!!! i wanna chat!

i think you did fine job...a little graphic in the beginning....i especially liked the ending and the box was a neat idea :)

xxx

aww i really liked this one, especially the ending. good job keep it up :)

omg this was so sad. your a great writer. keep it up

Very creative idea! I loved it! Very well done! It was sad and expressed feeling! Good job! Take Care! Brooke~

Wow, that is a very strong poem and so sad. Is it true?

Wow...what a creative poem. Very unique...excellent write...I love the anticipation in it. It's a shame that this is the story of many. Feeling as no one cares but really someone does. Nice way of putting it all into perspective.....I love it....Again excellent write!! :)

I would have to say it was a 5 the story and images you catured were right on. The conclusion was abit off but all and all it was a great read keep up the great work...

pretty good.. gave you a 5/5 but im confused about the poem, and i dont like to be confused... who's the boy, and the woman... where did the boyfriend go? writing this down makes me process it so i think i know who they all are... but if you wanna explian at any point... just lemme know.. my an on aim is CuteLovePancake...
amanda

That was truly an amazing poem. You have a real understanding of love and life.

o mu god this is a beautiful poem. i really love it. you are really really talented...don't let any other person change that..5/5

That was terribly sad. Beautifully written, though. I thought it was very good. Keep writing and take care.
><> Kiesha

Wow... this is a great poem!! nice job!

Love the story, brilliantly done.

Okay the story line lost me...and i dont think this was exactly meant to be a metaphorical (is that a word?lol) kind of poem i say this because i think it was trying to blunty tell a story so i should have understood it which means your story line somehow was confusing in some way....i will exlplain

so from my understanding at first the friend comes in finds her friend dead opens the box and finds a ring...i dont exactly get the whole why she didnt open it and what the big importance of the box was...which shoul have been made key since it was the title....i think the meaning of the box could be more emphasize i do think i understand more now that i have read it a few times but i think it is a little confusing

now the flow

the second stanza was wonderful, the best out of the bunch

*I opened the note,
read it with tears.
She said she saved
The box for years.*

the last line is the only problem here and i could only think of two ways to better it or i think make it better at least either

The little box for years
The box for many years

*Almost frightened,
I untied the ribbon.
Opened the box
and peered in.*

okay same thing last line not enough syllables so i was thinking hmmm you could try *and slowly peered in, or nervously peered in* something along those lines

*Nothing but a ring
lie in the cardboard coffin
helplessly it shone
like a dead and forgotten sin.*

okay this took me some time to think about i know maybe you really wanted to use the word sin but it is simple not needed here i think coffin and forgotten actually rhyme much better together has a certain ring so i dont mean to rewrite this but i personally think something like *so dead and so forgotten* would do the trick

and lastly...last stanza.....first line....needs more syllables i suggest
The pretty young girl but many words could suffice

Ah omg i wrote this huge thing and i dont think it went through grr so i shall do it again because i have the time my dear

okay first things first your story line was complicated when i think this story longs to be simple i dont understand why the young lady didnt open the box and what the significence of it was which i think you should have focused much more on because it afterall was the title of this poem....it became more clear to me after i had read it more and more but i do think this poem requires simplicity

okay flow...
2nd stanza AMAZINNNNGG love it
3rd stanza
*The note was lain
Across her chest so,
With a white box
Tied neatly with a bow.*
i have a small suggestion perhaps tell us what color the bow is being a white box i think giving it a white bow suits the poem well so it could say
*tied with a white bow* i think it flows oh so much better
4 stanza
*I opened the note,
read it with tears.
She said she saved
The box for years.*
i see two choices here either *the small box for years* or *the box for many years* i think it could do with one more syllable of your choice
6th stanza
*Almost frightened,
I untied the ribbon.
Opened the box
and peered in.*
last line once again....lets see here umm....*and slowly peered in* or *and tensley peered in* i dunno just a thought there
7th stanza
*Nothing but a ring
lie in the cardboard coffin
helplessly it shone
like a dead and forgotten sin.*
okay you may have really had a dire urge to use the word sin here i dont know but i simply think this stanza is better without it i dont mean to rewrite your poem lol but i just have ideas i think could be useful maybe so if i were you i might try something different on the last line such as *so and so forgotten*

last stanza
perhaps could use another word i would try *the pretty young girl*

okay last point the first stanza and this pure opinion i dont understand what you mean by carve delicatley....i think its an oxy moron....gives me a mixed message but hey it could work i guess