Now or Later

I take my last breath
And I realize
Everything is here
All my dreams and lives
When I leave this place
I lose my first friend
I lose my first school
I lose my first crush
I lose my first kiss
All, very precious
At the end of it
I become soul-less
Vagabond wanders
Without a purpose
I can’t start anew
My growth is stunted
It’s been a long road
How can I leave this
All of this that’s here
Dark are the shadows
That lie on this path
But I shall walk them
For somewhere deep down
Buried inside me
It lies there, asleep
Is it my courage?
Is it destiny?
Or just a bright light
Called a reckless hope?
Whatever it is
It can’t be rid of
So should I grow it?
Make plump and pleasant?
So one special day
It can be swallowed
By the depth of life
And then I will wait
Banished to darkness
All alone again
As everything then
Is once again, lost
Leaving me for dead
So I might as well
Just hide in my hole
Bury myself away
And just disappear