Longing for something that is not there

by jaki   Jul 11, 2005


I stand there and watch as you lie down and hold a dagger above your chest, I am crying and screaming as you slowly lower the dagger through your chest… There is nothing I can do but huddle up in a ball and long for my loved one that lies on the bed… Dead.

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  • 19 years ago

    by Lydie

    Your writing is good - don't doubt it - but it needs to flow a bit more, the best poems of yours are yet to come, keep writing and you'll get there! It takes practice... Try expanding your poems see what difference that makes!

    -Lyd