Bleeding over you

The blood pours from the cut
My eyes are tightly shut
The pain increases
but at the same time it decreases
With all the physical pain
but you can learn and train
To no longer feel
what was once such a big deal
I close my eyes and think
What made my life stink
I want to escape the pain
There is nothing left to gain
You didn't care about me
You couldn't see
all the deep cuts and tears
I inflicted despite my worst fears
The greater the pain inflicted on me
The less I can see
I don't hurt inside
Everything I tried to hid
Is now gone
Is it so wrong
to just want the pain to go away
I sit and pray
That I will be forgiven for
what I did behind that closed door
I wanted to go so bad
I was always so mad
It wasn't worth it anymore
The pain is worse than before
I can learn to bare
Just sit and stare
Loose yourself in thought
Don't think about what was going on
With each new dawn
There is one thing on my mind
Courage will be hard to find.

PLEASE comment it would mean so much to me!!