All the things i want to say

I wrote a letter,
then ripped it up
i couldn't make sense
it was too tough.
All the things
i could have done,
i didn't hide
i didn't run.
I sat there silent
not saying a word,
try not to believe
what i just heard.
could it be true
did i just die?,
it didn't work
i opened my eye.
Standing above me,
holding her face,
i disappoint you,
I'm your disgrace.
A month has passed,
yet you still say,
how much you hate me,
and go away.
You can't look at me,
without having a frown,
is this your job
to bring me down.
I say i love you,
you're in my head,
i deny my love,
and hide instead,
i ask myself
why i can't talk to you,
say i need you
you know it's true.
I'd die for you,
and i swear,
I'll be there for you,
and always care.
But all the things
i want to say,
they run from me,
and fade away.