Different-layout and idea. I like the way it takes a small moment in time and describes the thoughts and words and feelings expressed during it in detail. Its pauses create suspense in some points, or...it’s as if the person is perhaps pausing to think/draw breath before continuing. An original piece which got even me thinking. ;~)

Simply beautiful,

Failed

Hey! well this one is very interesting but i like it because its interesting. I like the way its in details. 5/5 Keep writing!

Intersting set-up. I liked it but I think I have read better from you. But it was a unquie in its own way. Great work

Juls

What are you scared that your going to get kicked off the site for using someone else's poems.. Isn't it funny that you said you wrote it and then all of a sudden it just disapears??

Different layout but it worked well. I liked the breaks and the very short stanzas. It was a good poem and I was ready to go through tons more but then it ended :( 5/5 for a real unique poem