Darkness fueled by loneliness fills one's mind with fear and doubt,
Fear that being alone will never change, doubts remain embedded,
Menacing thoughts of past failures of my own and those perceived,
Judged as a lowly Cretan not worthy of love, a misfit unto mankind,
Unholy thoughts swirl in my mind, a sickness thought of by others,
Unable to perform and fulfill, so insanely jealous of those who can,
Dreamed fulfilling fantasies with someone, somebody else is always first,
Always last in line, then my desires are viewed as-been there done that,
Never feeling totally complete, then disdain and rejection from a love,
Making my emotions become a jeckle and hyde syndrome inside me,
Being not worthy in someone's eyes is a demon inside that refuses to die,
Viewed as someone complete, nay, shunned, rejected when truth revealed,
Self confidence never a redeeming quality, but only remains a fact in me that,
To seemingly love yourself makes you open to be called self-centered, trite,
The still of the night provides a respite in some eerie way, a hole in which to-
Crawl into for my own self protection from a life I know I can't have or to live,
To thine own-self be true, my worst enemy is me believing in my own faults,
As vivid as they are to me, surly they are visible to someone else I do think,
But maybe there is somebody out there to overlook my faults and see just me,
Then in the still of the night I shall find someone to love and who can love me.
