There's always a But...

*really please vote and comment, im trying to get better and need more feedback, please, I'm a young writer looking for inspiritation:)*

I still remember,
the first night I saw you,
It was that night of new years,
that night, it was obvious, you saw me too.
I wanted to tell you so much,
how those butterflies you gave me,
your lips i wanted to touch..
We talked some more,
then came that night,
The day I felt everything was just right.
You took my hand,
and place it on your neck,
you kissed me so sweetly,
I loved the smell of your breath.
It's kinda of ironic,
hot it all ended,
that night you broke my heart,
the heart still no one has mended.
Then came this day,
when I thought it would all be the same,
but those jokes of yours got really lame.
Even with him,
you degraded me,
you spat on me,
and almost hated me.
You changed so much,
yet I stayed the same,
I guess in my days now,
I'll always feel the pain.
Though now it seems I have more strength,
I think without you,
I can go longer lengths.
Or am I lying to myself?
It's not like you stopped me from anything,
Yet still in the perfect picture,
I see you in my dreamy things.
I can't call them fantasies,
because I don't feel like that no more,
It's not like me n you will ever have our happy endings.
You always go on,
no matter what,
you cant have a single conversation,
without it almost getting better,
but there's always a "but.."
I didn't cry the first time,
I'm not going to cry the last,
But please, even the good and the bad,
Please don't forget OUR past