A Daddy, A Husbund.

The stars and the moon,
and my violent cold breath,
minutes tick on and yet I'm closer to death.

I want to look up
nd see your face in the sky
tears are streaming down my face
and I don't want to cry.

you kissed me and touched me
and you wispered in my ear,
but I didn't understand you
or I just couldn't hear.

I pretend that I'm strong
yet you still might see,
my heart is shattering into pieces, cracking, right in front of me.

I believed in God
until that screaming day
when are hands were held together and yet he let you float away.

And our baby is now inside me, growing in my tummy,
this child will need love and care,
a daddy and a mommy.

I can't decide what I should do, to raise a child it takes two.

But I let you slip away,
and yet you broke my heart,
I should have embraced for all your beatings,
we shouldn't hide apart.

Now I must abort my child,
for it reminds me still of you,
I can't afford the milk and clothes,
there is no other choice to choose.

I couldn't still love you.

I took all your slaps,
all your heroic punches
and blows to my head,
I walked on knives around you,
you left me frightened
on the floor,
wishing I were dead.

And yet I love you still...

How can you love a man, so self centered and cruel?
I was just a chain around his neck,
I was just his little morbid jewel.

I could never understand,
all of this terrible mess in my life,
what am I to him now?
Except a beaten fragile wife?

But what could be,
a more pleasant life for me?
Then sitting in a straight jacket, believing I'm not crazy...

And yet the stars
and the moon still shimmer,
twinkle in the sky,
as I sit here quietly,
waiting, wanting to die...