I'm so sorry that you feel this way. The Lord is still here for us, no matter what. I know it doesn't seem like that sometimes, but he really is. Just think that when people die, they are in a better place with God and they don't have to suffer any more. I don't know what else to tell you, but that it's normal to question the Lord, and that I hope you regain some of your faith. Take care and God bless.