I’ll I can think of is
That cold shiny blade
Against my warm skin
When I cut across my skin
It gives me such a rush
Just to see the crimson blood
It makes me forget about
Everything around me
For just one minute, sixty seconds
I feel in control, alive, ecstatic.
Then I wake up from this trance
And I feel more depressed, disappointed, worried.
What if someone finds out?
What do I say?
What will they say?
Why did I do this?
What made me do this?
I’m going to disappoint everyone,
Like before when they found out.
What the hell should I do?
I grab the blade again
And lightly run it across my vein
Then I cut deeper then ever
I feel a new kind of rush,
This kind of throbbing is not thrilling,
It’s a painful throbbing,
The blood is coming at fast,
Not like the speckles before.
More like a rushing river.
My vision starts to blur,
I’m getting pretty dizzy.
I’m slowing losing my balance,
I fall to floor.
I hear someone coming,
There getting closer and closer
To the room where I lay slowly dying
I hear a faint scream
I recognize the voice,
Telling me to hold on and that they’ll get help
She says they’re almost here, hold on don’t leave
My eyes are growing heavy it’s getting harder to breath
My final breath is near
I whisper I’m sorry and good-bye.
