Only in myself can i hide

For the first time in my life
I am alone
With no where to run
And only in myself can I hide

The scars in my arm run so deep
Yet for some reason
The gates up above
Always stay close

I’m sick of hearing the sorry’s
And the silent words
My parent’s share
Late at night

No one was to know
That counselling
Wouldn’t save me
Or help in anyway

But throughout all the hard times
I always had a shoulder to cry on
A friend to talk to
But not now

Now I am lost and so alone
In a sea full of people
Never knowing
Where to go

Every corner I turn
Leads me to another dead end
And I am sick of searching
For something I am not meant to find

Trust has not been a friend of mine
And everything I once believed in
Has let me down
And left me cold

I wonder why my cuts never shed enough blood
Every attempt at death seems to fail
But now I know
Every sin I have done has come back in revenge
And will not give me what I want

For the first time in my life
I am alone
With no where to run
And only in myself can I hide

sorry it is so long, but many tears were shed whilst writing this poem, so your comments would be kindly appreciated