Fall out of bed to answer the phone,
To discover it’s not for me-I’m alone.
Everyone’s gone out and left me.
Try, going out can’t find my key.
I’m locked in; it’s like a prison cell.
My own personal hell.
I take a bath,
Pick up the razor and start to laugh.
Pierce my skin,
Which releases the pain within.
Blood trickles down my arm.
This is not self harm.
This is my cocaine,
It loosens me up, and releases my pain.
Plunge my arm under water, the blood washes away.
I get out the bath and hide the razor for another day.
Another day when I’m home alone,
Another day when I pick up the phone,
And it’s not for me.
Another day when I can’t find my key.
And I’m screaming inside,
And can’t bear the pain I hide.
Maybe one day the razor will go in too deep,
And I will fall into an everlasting sleep…
