Thank You For Reading

Maybe I should take my poems
And place them in a book
So one day when I am ready
Friends can take a look

For now, I just hide them
From people that I know
I don't want to hurt anyone
When I let my feelings show

If the people close to me
were given the chance to read
the words I write on this site
They might sigh in disbelief

Each time that I see them
I wear a smile upon my face
I don't think they really know
My life is a disgrace

How can I let them in
When they think all is well
They would be so surprised
To see me living in this hell

I am the master of deception
With my smiles so far and wide
They would feel cheated
When they knew what I feel inside

What would they say to me
If they read what was in here
I can't say "hey come read this"
And still be full of cheer

They would see right through me
That would be suicide
I could not smile before them
Once they knew what was inside

My life would be wide open
Like the headline news
I guess I'll keep this secret
and hide away my blues

My words are sometimes repetitive
But its because my life is the same
I wake up each day knowing
That I need a change

Until I make that happen
My words will run together
There is only so much to say
When you try to keep it all together

Thank you for reading
You are really all I've I got
Strangers seeing within me
And my friends and family "not"

I sometimes feel ashamed
For hiding out in here
But reading what you all write
Seems to take away my fear