By myself

What happened to being alone and by your self? The feelings that you know you only need your self to survive in this world. Letting some one help you would only be letting your self down. The feeling of you and only you makes you feel invincible no one can stop you. The fire you hold in the darkness is only for you and no one else. Finding out how you can keep going on by your self makes you stronger. Life would just be wrong with some one else in it to help you. You will not see me shed any tears for no one or for no reason. Tears are only showing how weak you are to the world. Being on you own you find how to hold these useless things called tears. Holding on to you emotions is what you do best. Shutting people out is like second nature to you. You feel no pain. Pain is only some thing in your mind the sooner you figure that out the better you will be. Try to find some one to understand you and feel your pain, but you will never find them. No one is like you are a new breed of person. One of the few who like the company of the dark and can take the pain of life. No complaining will come form your mouth. You keep it in and dealing with it on you own but if you can not cope with your problem you will cut it out of you body or mind. You find comfort in things that other people find fear or pain in. Your thoughts about emotions are quite simple. You seem to hate seeing people in love because it reminds you of something you once took pride in having. You punish any one that makes you mad or in a mood that is unwanted at that time. When you feel sad and lonely you get even more mad at the fact that you are the one here in misery and not some one else. Trying to come out of this mood is like cracking the code to a safe. Impossible so you give up. When people try to help the only find the fall. You reject them just like you do every thing else. The walls we build to keep out the sadness and pain also keeps out the joy. So why try to hide from it? That is what you think it is useless. Why would you want to let some one into your heart? You have done that and all you got what heart ache. People think they can handle you but they are only making a mistake. Only one person can do that but you no longer have them or you have not found that person. You will know when that person comes along. Not even knowing it they will stick out in a crow if you see them. You just know they are the one. It is all up to you to let them in. You will know when you find them. Why is this life set for you? No one knows why but in a way you know. You know though that no one else could deal or go on with this kind of evil growing in them. If it were up to you. You would be in a four walled room with nothing else but a door and a pen with some paper to write down how you feel. Why try to be human when you do not feel that way? Even if you were it would not be the same. This is why you do stuff that other people can not do. You cut your self you feel nothing, no pain nothing but the joy of watching the blood running down your arm. Solitary is not just a game it is the way you live your life, day by day. You are the ace of spades and you are the highest card in your deck. When you cry you find your self hiding form every one. Why you hide you do not know why? This is strange to you for you have never hid from some thing in you life. The thought of people knowing that you are human is not acceptable to you. Human is a title you lost long ago. To be human to you is to be normal and you are not normal. You are extraordinary to only your self cause that is all you have is you. Who needs any one else? Not you, you are compelled to be by your self. Not forced you desire it. You think of lonesomeness as being a person in it self. A word having a meaning besides the dictionary definition, that is some thing that only happens in your world.