Hit me

"Calm down" "Calm down" I still hear you talking
Because I couldn't control myself, smashing around
My fists hammering into my body, to cause pain
Out of control, listening to you talking, a calming sound

Hit me, Beat me, Punch me, Kick me, Hurt me
All that goes through my brain, unable to stop me
Lying in your arms, trying to breathe properly
Crying out in hatred of myself, leaving bruises they can see

Seeing the scared look upon your saddened face
Hating myself even more for hurting you, I try to smile
Bad news, hit again and again, like a new drug
When I'm with you, you can protect me for a while

Hit me, hurt me release your worries on me
I dont deserve you, I hurt you, I cause you pain
I love you, but I understand if you want to leave
You are saving me from hitting over and over again

Cant control it, cant prevent, cant stop it
Hurt me, bruise myself, be sick, be ill, die
Love you, hate me, don't deserve your love, I'm not perfect
Hit me over and over whilst I sit here and cry