aaahhh yes, great poem. nice little twist on the old topic. I love it when people do that. take something old and make it new and refreshing. Only thing I saw wrong with it : a few spelling mistakes. thats it. A wonderful poem. And I love the way you introduced the girl into the story.

Take care,
Renee

Hey that was good i liked the way you brought the subject out slowly :D well done

I like your use of structure, it's very effective. So very unlike many other poets who try too hard for structure yet not pay attention to the language used. You seem to have paid ample attention to both aspects. Amazing poem.

This is very deep and yet so beautiful! LOVED IT!
Much love....<3
~*hAiLy*~

I loved the way you started off each stanza. Creative and unique! This was a well written deep poem! Take Care! Brooke~

great poem 2 thimbs way way up for this poem.

Very emotional piece. Well written and very... Vivid. Your word choice and phrasing paints the picture to further tell your story, and you did that well. I like how you chain each stanza to the next with a question and an answer in the form of a question. An original idea in a sea of copycats. Nice work.

Awww.. dont give up.. ok ?

if you want, you can email me anytime, i will be here to listen.

michelle