Santa was a fat man,
who lived far away.
He was so humongous,
I bet he ate 100 pounds of beef a day.
He wore many colors,
like red, black and white.
God he is so fat,
help me Christ.
I say he weighed about three hundred,
lord he needs a diet.
Santa just go,
please before your belly causes a riot.
Santa is in one of the coldest places ever,
he is in the North Pole.
Please lose some weight Santa,
before your tummy explodes.
My parents used to tell me,
that you were really real.
I told them not to lie to me,
I mean whats the big deal.
He's just a fat slob,
that rides on a sleigh.
I wonder why Rudolph had a red nose,
well look how much Santa weighed.
God if he got any bigger,
he would fill the Titanic.
I don't care if Santa comes,
cause he is a fat prick.
Yeah thats right I said it,
so Santa take me off of your list.
You need to lose some weight you fat prick,
before I get pissed.
Thats all I need to say about him,
cause he might just get up and come for me.
Wait hold up, he can't you know why,
cause his titties are so big that he can't see.
