Sometimes i cry,
thinking of how much i messed everything up.
it makes me sad,
not knowing where my Head is.
i think I'm losing it,
everything is changing so fast.
i cant stop it,
i wish there was a restart button.
would i push it?
mess up things even more?
sometimes i Beat myself up,
i wanted to die before, loves changes minds.
every morning I'm glad to be alive,
I have Someone that cares for me.
She means Everything to me,
sometimes she doesn't believe me.
i wonder how many times,
she has thought of breaking up with me.
I've been wait for her,
Never letting her go.
i think I'm losing everything,
she says she loves me.
Only wanting one thing,
For her to be happy with what she has.
sometimes i tell myself,
I don't deserve someone like her.
Someone that is loving and caring,
why did you pick me Holli ?
my mom has asked me,
Do you love Holli?
i told her Yes i do with everything i have.
there is a reason,
why she showed up again in my life.
Maybe i am meant to be with her,
just thick headed to see it.
makes me sad,
when she moves her head, when i go to touch her face.
i told her i would ain't hurt a fly,
i didn't want to be like my father.
the old and old i get,
the more and more i see my father in me.
it broke my heart when she told me,
she was afraid of me.
its like I'm a Monster,
maybe that monster is my DAD.
its hard to know,
that i Lost all of Hollis trust.
God, i f*^* up everything!
man there were some words i don't even know why i said them.
i spoke before thinking,
i guess i deserve it.
it's been a while,
since i made he laugh.
today i looked through pictures we took,
man she WAS happy with me then.
i don't think i can do it anymore,
make her paint that BEAUTIFUL smile.
my biggest fear WAS life it self,
now its Losing her.
I LOVE YOU HOLLI,
promise me will be together forever?
