My Brother

This is dedicated to my brother he is in foster care and I miss him Soooo much

As I sit here and think about the past
How I took care of you
How I promised you that nothing would ever happen to you
I'm so sorry I let you down
I cry at night when no one is around
Wishing that I had been there when you needed me most
Wishing I could have done something
I want you to know that I never meant for you to live like this
Seeing me at my worst
Trying to die cause I couldn't take this life
Now I see I was weak
Because little brother you are stronger then me
The strongest little boy I ever will meat
But I miss you a lot and I'm trying to be strong
But all I can think about is how I let you down
I was suppose to be your protection
Suppose to be there when you frown
When you smile
I'm suppose to watch you grow
But I've missed a year and half of your life
I will never get that back
They say you'll come back soon
But they lie because soon seems like never
And I grow weak with each visit
You seem so far and distant
You don't seem like my little man
You act like a total stranger
That tears me apart
To see you aren't my little boy
The little man I took care of for soo long
When daddy was drinking and yelling
When mommy would work all those long hours
She never knew that I was your support
And when they put me away
I loved to hear your voice on the phone
Saying you loved me and missed me
Now it pains me cause I can't be there for you
The way You were there for me
Please forgive me
And understand I love you and always will
I will try to be strong
But if I can't and I fold
I'm showing you all my cards
That I love you and goodbye