by Emily Jul 17, 2005
category :
Sadness, depression /
about depression
I PRETEND: |
by NannO
i lykd this one.. i mean, i cud see ur thoughts thru the lines.. i jus wanna tell ya that since ur writing bout the "real u" u shud write down things that ARE u.. lyk things in u.. not wat other people do to u.. the real u shud be lyk, happy, sad, down.. jus lyk the second stanaza of "the real me", not the first one.. also.. i think it wud be better if u remove "in my life" in : "hate and life in my life will always collide" to avoid repetition.. lyk maybe u cud say: hate and life, for me, will always collide, or smthn like that (depends on ur own writer's style.. |
by pag
that's really a good poem, i feel so bad for you that you have to go threw that. but life will get better in the future if you don't dwell on the now or the past. anyways really good job! and thanks for commenting i'll email ya sometime. |