Missing

I think there might be something wrong with me:
I cant seem to work things out;
I dont understand how i came to be me,
forgot that I spent all that time growing, learning about life and knowing that although I messed up, was messed up, it didnt matter cos I was who and where i wanted, needed to be -
Then it changed one day it happened I didnt know until today -I changed everything! lost so much..
Lost myself, lost my life - not dead but sleeping... am I awake now or is this the part where i am almost awake or is it too late for me. Has it been too long? Too little too late? If this is my life what was the point seems so long ago seems unreal .. I miss me, I miss, I missed... have i been missed?