The enticing glow of the silver bladed knife was calling my name,
It promised to solve all my problems so I would no longer have to live with my shame.
Because for a long time I have kept a dark secret without anyone knowing,
I want to believe I made the right choice as the blood drips slowly from my wrist when it should be flowing.
I started to panic when I realized this is not working as I had planned,
When I made that first incision I had no control over my shaky hand.
The pain is not punishment enough for how dirty I feel,
Slowly I started to feel weak and nothing seemed for real.
When I opened my eyes I felt disoriented and all I could see was an over powering bright white,
I’ll come to realize it is only the white hospital walls and not the heavenly light.
The sound of voices brings me back to reality,
My plan did not work and now I look cowardly.
