Doll, I know you feel like its your fault, but maybe he had problems neither myself or you knew about. You can't blaim yourself, as Joel himself said to me "You didn't slit my wrists with a knife that was me" you can't say that you killed him with your own hands or even your words, I loved Joel like a brother and we know he'll be sorely missed, but now that I think of it, Joels death inspired me to try to get better. Because I know that somehow that's what he was trying to prove when he did it. Of course its going to hurt, but if it didn't I'd think you were emotionless, anywho maybe it should try to inspire you, just imagine if your died...I'd be crying just like today. Joels too much of a good person, he wouldn't want us wallowing around blaiming ourselves.
He would want us out there rolling down hills in trolleys, dancing around and laughing with the people we love, suicide is tradgedy but we can't let it bring us down, when really it was just a way of them escaping.
Love Ya Heapz
Lozza
(R.I.P Joel Walter Russell, took his own life 19th July 2005, his spirit will live on)

babe anotha good poem. il be dere 2 talk 2 ya.

thats really sad. it intrigues me to knwo more, what exactly happened and all... i hope ur ok...
x x x
PS; lauren's right, its not ur fault