Everlasting Rest

Everlasting Rest
Tuesday July 19, 2005
9:47 a.m.

Close my eyes and count to 10
I am diving in
I don't think I can stand it,
keeping this secret from you...
I know you would automatically condemn me
So rather than take that chance,
I shall lead my self into an everlasting rest.

Close my eyes and count to 10
carve it deeper into my skin
I thought I was past this self hatred
and my confidence in the knife was dead.
Apparently I was wrong.
I am creating my own death
I shall lead myself into an everlasting rest.

Close my eyes and count to 10
slit my wrist, allow the blood to seep in.
It stains the water, a beautiful red.
It is my life,
slowly floating away,
It's all I can do, to keep from laughing.
It's almost over now...
I feel this sort of calm hit me,
as I lead myself into an everlasting rest.

Close my eyes and count to 10
I've achieved my goal.
I have found my everlasting rest.

Close my eyes and count to 10,
allow the water that was stained by my own despair
carry me away to my everlasting rest.

*this changed quite a bit from the original. I'm still not happy with it, but I have learned to except the fact that, I cannot write poetry all that well. I suppose I will learn to deal with it though. Now I'm just doing it for fun*