Last rights

this was deep.. and really good keep up the great work..5/5
luv ya,
LoVeAbLeShOrTie

I love this poem! I love you putting your heart and eyes in the jar....and your heart still beating at the end...very creative. I truly enjoyed this!! :)

I feel like the message was continually repeated, so some of the stanzas seemed superfluous, and were just present as rhyming exercises. I thought the rhyming could have been a bit more original, but it was pretty good regardless. I didn't really like the flow of this poem as much as some others, because just about every line of every stanza was the same length: fairly short. it was still a pretty good poem, but not as good as I think you could write.

...have you tried putting this to music? it would work realy well. sad, very sad. good poem...

~Breeze

It’s fast paced and the rhyming is nicely done…I really like it. Lovely work.

"my eyes are gone
they're in a jar
along with my heart
permanently scarred" - one of my fave parts :)

xxx