Lovely Curse

I always thought that it couldn't be worse,
But that day you proved me wrong of course,
I let out my lovely saddened tears,
The ones that I've held for all those years,
I slowly started then to fall away,
Then slower even did I feel betrayed,
At first it didn't hit me hard,
Until you decided to keep me barred,
You started then to torment me,
With all your words and all my pleas,
I only wanted to end it all,
You cannot help that I had to fall,
I stopped my eating, my drinking too,
Only trying to stop what I can't undo,
I started to think I can always be thinner,
If the pain will stop then I'll risk my dinner,
I then decided I needed more,
to stop what once I couldn't endure,
I picked up the blade with jagged rims and,
I covered it all in my own crimson,
I started to think that I've done my share,
To know that you were never there,
I'll start to hurt you, emotions first,
so that you feel my pain, my lovely curse