What is this happy thing that people talk about? I only know what it is like to be sad. Is it good to sad all the time? or is it bad?
I don't know anymore. I sit here and write this cause I can't live like this anymore. I hate it when I am sad all the time. I hate it when i can't stand up to some person. I have to put on a mask and act like everything is ok, when its not. I can't put on that mask anymore....cause everything is turning bad. Nothing is the same anymore. I hate it! I hate when my dad is sick. I'm scared I might lose him one day and I don't want that, I love him with all my heart. I hate it when everyone says your pretty, when your ugly. I know its a lie. I can't take it anymore. Sometimes I feel like I just wanna die and not live this life anymore. I hate it when I feel left out and forgotten. I hate when I fight with my friends...I love them. I hate it when I cry all the time. I just hate everything right now!
I wrote this before my dad was died...I was going through all this stuff at the time. 4/14/05 I will always love you daddy!! I will always be your little girl.
