Missing Him

With every heartbeat, brings more sorrow.
every night i know i will miss you more tomorrow. my life is secretly revolving around you.
and it kills me because i know whatever i do,
i wont be yours.
but maybe if you could see all the times my heart has been torn,
you would have some pity on me.
and you would be the one to be. wiping the tears from under my eyes.
before my heart breaks down nd dies.

i still read the words you wrote me many nights before.
in the dark with only the light from underneath my door.
with my head in my pillow muffling my tears.
and for all this, you knowing is my worst fear.

i don't want you to know you are killing me.
that your smile stabs me just like a bee.
my selfish emotions broke us apart. and is now keeping a constant agony upon my heart.
if i could tell you i would.
i would tell you if i could.
but how could i say, your killing me?
because of me?