I didnt really understand this one sorry...but it sounded kidna like it had a little bit of talent behind it...so i gave it a 4...please read mine now thx !! :)

Good job, you can still work on the flow

So deep - I really don't think anything needs working on. A poem is the thoughts of the creator - their minds exact details to be recorded into eternal time. There can never be anything wrong with a though - so what's the difference when it's written down? My favourite of yours so far - definately.

Peace. [Sole]