Tears no one sees

I thought i could trust you
i thought i was safe around you
but i wasn't
everyone thought i lied about it
so you got away with it.
you touched and i yelled at you
i thought your mom
would have checked it out
but all she did was bang on the wall.
i didn't ask for this to happen
i wasn't raped but something just as bad.
you... well you know what you did.
i stayed quiet for so long.
i tried to forget about it
act like it was all OK.
when i left and ran into two of my friends
they asked what was wrong
i said nothing just looked at them and and went home.
i cried myself to sleep
i had nightmares about it
i thought you'd do it again
i still have the memories and they wont go away.
when I'm alone and even when I'm around my boyfriend or my guy friends
i always have my guard up
its hard to relax around guys now
because what if someone decides
he doesn't care and does it again or something worse.
the tears i cry over this no one sees
no one knows about this except the ones you told i accused you of.
and my family.
but the point is you just didn't care
yeah sure I'm built mature but that doesn't give you the right
to do what you want.
i remember you tried and tried for 10-20 minutes. you said it wouldn't hurt.
i knew what you meant and Ive never felt so scared in my life.
this is a secret no one knows for i do not want pity just someone to know .
just to try and let people know you cant do this to people its wrong. and there my not be physical abuse but emotional abuse that wont just go away.