The Rights Of Man

by Ed   Jul 22, 2005


I am clearly Philosophical,
and at the say time whimsical,
I enjoy vanity as much as Humanity.
You are the hinder of society,
that feeds on commoners like me.
Dawn of a beginning is anew,
as we sit with the chosen few.

We the people, forge a new life,
as others commit to the knife,
To our dimise many chose insanity,
over the essence of humanity.

This is why I mourn, and thus scorned,
For my fellow humans,
and there plot of dissonance,
concerning failure.

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    the word hinder can only be used as either an adjective or a verb, not as a noun. The noun form of the word hinder is "hinderer" which is slightly awkward and unwieldy

    you misspelled demise as "dimise" in your poem

    "This is why I mourn, and thus scorned,
    For my fellow humans,"
    This phrase requires parallel construction, and should either read as:
    "This is why I mourn, and thus scorn,
    My fellow humans,"
    or:
    "This is why I mourn, and feel scorn,
    For my fellow humans,"

    as for the message of the poem, although it begins a bit jumbled, I think your feelings come together near the middle/end of the poem, and that seems to work out just fine. The rhyming wasn't distracting, and it did add a bit of a whimsical air to your poem.

  • 19 years ago

    by K1n9d0m

    i liked your choice of words well writin great job ,rel..........

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