My heart is at the edge of the world
deciding if it should jump and hit the ground
I need your help
to make this turn around
it has broken into a million tiny pieces
and yet it's still breaking
I told you I didn't love you
but you should know I was faking
I got what I wanted
that should have made me happy
but after so many attempts I realized something
something you opened my eyes to see
they say love is blind
and for so long I didn't believe it was true
that was until I opened my eyes
and say I was in love with you
I look at my tattered body
and I remember the times
I was so scared of commitment
I thought I was going out of my mind
things were getting worse
I no longer wanted to say
I had everything planned out
even right down to the day
but someone was holding me back
I never wanted to let you go
and though I'm still here
there's something you should know
I tried to commit suicide
I took the razor and painted my arm red
leaving my beaten body passed out of the floor
as I woke up on a hospital bed
I woke to find me still alive
hanging by my last string
I did this to myself
depression and misery is all I would bring
laying weak on life support
I prayed to god asking why
I looked down at my stitched up arms
and I began to break down and cry
going from one hospital to another
learning how to deal with my insecurity
having to learn how to cope
and learning to like what I see
so I began my healing process
still having plans, plotting my death
counting the days, the minuets
till I would take my last breath
three months later I got to go home
I take out my diary and read what I've been through
finally I come to a love poem
and a picture of you
I started to believe I survived for a reason
and maybe I could get back what mattered
that maybe I could fix my life
that was once broken and shattered
so I gave it my all
and slowly started getting over my depression
I stopped cutting for you
gave up my harmful obsession
I became clean
and took the time to heal
then I wrote poems
telling you how I feel
but you didn't love me too
gave up on all the hard work we had
you were over me
so I was left lonely and sad
heartbroken and miserable
all over again
falling so hard
engulfing myself with pain
taking out my razor
trying to figure out what to do
I thought I had a reason to live
but my reason was always you
now I ask myself why
why go on living each day
if you can't have the one you love
and you don't want to stay
I sit here each night
wishing I could bring you back
I sew my heart back together
but the pieces are never fully in tact
just know that I love you
don't be fooled by my mask
I would've told you everything
but it was never an easy task
my heart is shattered
and the person that can mend it is you
but I guess that the one thing
that you will never ever do
so once again my heart is at the edge of the world
deciding if it should jump and hit the ground
because now that you're gone
I have no reason to stick around.
