Words cannot describe

Why is it i despise you,
for making me feel so low,
tonight i make my exit,
and this time you will not know.
There won't be a written letter,
I'll just do it quick and clean,
no hitting the floor,
I'll be me no more,
just a cut without a scream.
This time I've gone past caring,
for you and even myself,
i don't think about the pain,
and i don't care about the help.
If i cut for all the times,
you ever made me cry,
i would count up all the minutes,
that were left till i would die.
Each time i bleed my blood,
it's getting my revenge,
i can't fake this smile no more,
and happiness i can't pretend.
I'll rip up all these letters,
and begin to punch the wall,
but even that won't help me,
and stop me feeling small.
People say it's over,
when they see me having fun,
but they don't see the anger,
i have because of mum.
And they don't see that torment,
the grief that i once had,
yes i do despise you,
even though you are my dad.
So I'll leave you people to it,
as i sit up in my room,
watching TV downstairs,
as I'll be going soon.
And once my body's crumbled,
my arms drenched with blood,
i won't regret it,
cus you won't forget it,
that your daughter wasn't doing good.