amazing!!!! keep it up!
-xXx-

I thought it was pretty good. :) The rhymes weren't forced (natural is always the way to go!), the drama occuring was emotional, and it was thought out very nicely. It gave me an almost lonely feeling...kind of empty because i could see a girl lying across a floor...broken hearted. :( Well I enjoyed reading this very much! Thank you for the comments as well. Take care and keep your talent wherever you go...

Peaces. //ari\\

P.s.- I think there is a typo in there somewhere...maybe when you put something like "what am i supposed to do", you put "i'm" instead of "am".

Candidly enough I liked it. It was depressing and had a vivid tale of broken proporitions.

5/5